i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
