is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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