I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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