He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Pooping to opera.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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