i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
