really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize