I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
