a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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