i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
