I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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