woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
