And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
