This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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