You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
