Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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