looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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