Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
