I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize