is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
