for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just had sex on a roof
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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