mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
