Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
