thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
