Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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