Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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