just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
