I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
