I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
