Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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