i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
