That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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