Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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