he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
