He is an equal opportunity slut.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Randomize
