I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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