I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
