oh god the rape fog is back!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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