last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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