im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
