i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
