I'm so fucking centered right now
More tranny stories later!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
