im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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