The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
