Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You're like the curious george of whores
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
