why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
