So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
