Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
