Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
