I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
