Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
