with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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