there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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