Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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