just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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