and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize