In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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