i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
