Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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