Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize