I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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