Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
