it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
