found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
this will be a night to untag.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
