not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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